I was my adult son's caregiver for 8 years after a stroke. We both ostensibly got covid from a doctors office. Chris was not as sick as I as he was on extreme steroids for lupus. My x husband came in the morning to help get Chris out of bed, belittling us for not taking the vax and our knowledge of the entire covid scam. Chris's in home doctors bullied me into putting him in hospital even though he firmly believed they would kill him if he went. He depended on me to protect him. I could only do the minimum care. I am 74. His dad offered no help. I knew all the info and the protocols but they never came to mind. He was dead in 7 days. I always thought I was close to God. Now I literally hate everyone and hate myself for not loving them. I have no one, although my X believes us now because he watched them smoothly kill Chris, he won't talk about it at all. They did it so good but with the occasional smirk. I cannot pray. I see no purpose in this. I cannot drill down further to see my sin. I was not afraid I was sick. I do repent for not protecting him. I do not know the reason. Thank you for listening.
You may have not sinned with Chris's care, Jamie. God did not change and He knows what you are are feeling. If you could love 'them' on your own, there would be no Gospel. God will work through you. When we acknowledge we can't do it on our own, He is right there to accomplish the miracle you are asking for. He will never abandon us.
I have no words, I just want to give you one big 🫂! I am so sorry this happened to you and your son. I pray over time you will be able to forgive yourself. ❤️🩹
I was my adult son's caregiver for 8 years after a stroke. We both ostensibly got covid from a doctors office. Chris was not as sick as I as he was on extreme steroids for lupus. My x husband came in the morning to help get Chris out of bed, belittling us for not taking the vax and our knowledge of the entire covid scam. Chris's in home doctors bullied me into putting him in hospital even though he firmly believed they would kill him if he went. He depended on me to protect him. I could only do the minimum care. I am 74. His dad offered no help. I knew all the info and the protocols but they never came to mind. He was dead in 7 days. I always thought I was close to God. Now I literally hate everyone and hate myself for not loving them. I have no one, although my X believes us now because he watched them smoothly kill Chris, he won't talk about it at all. They did it so good but with the occasional smirk. I cannot pray. I see no purpose in this. I cannot drill down further to see my sin. I was not afraid I was sick. I do repent for not protecting him. I do not know the reason. Thank you for listening.
You may have not sinned with Chris's care, Jamie. God did not change and He knows what you are are feeling. If you could love 'them' on your own, there would be no Gospel. God will work through you. When we acknowledge we can't do it on our own, He is right there to accomplish the miracle you are asking for. He will never abandon us.
I have no words, I just want to give you one big 🫂! I am so sorry this happened to you and your son. I pray over time you will be able to forgive yourself. ❤️🩹
Thanks Kelly. I have forgiven myself; it is part of repentance. I appreciate you caring about us.
My response was for Jamie ❤️
https://www.sgtreport.com/2024/01/relentless-deception-dr-shiva-ayyadurai/ Validation of the lesser satan theory.